I received an email a couple of days ago about my LDR blog post including my boyfriend’s side of the story – the sender wanted to know “how sure are you that he won’t LEAVE you for another woman, since he left his wife for you”. One of my readers that commented on that blog post also asked the same question.
Just to clear things up, my boyfriend didn’t leave his then wife for me. The divorce happened because it was something they both decided on. No outside party can make that decision for a married couple – I believe in that. It’s between you and your spouse. You found out your partner cheated on you, you decide to divorce your spouse – that’s your decision, not the other woman or man.
So here’s my answer to that question –
I’m not sure how sure I am but all I can say is that with everything that we have discussed about, we both realise every day that we love each other very much and want to be together for a long time. There’s no one else that I want to be with and he feels the same way. If that was not the case then he wouldn’t be with me.
Keep those emails and comments coming!!
Best of luck Asian Belle, after everything that the two of your went through to eventually be together, I wish you both the best for your relationship. Just always be yourself and fill your life with love and laughter and enjoy every second with your boyfriend and his kids. I think you deserve to be happy. Iza
ReplyDeleteThank you, Iza - I really appreciate it :) and I wish the same for you - lots of happiness. You have gone through a lot and we both know you deserve to be happy (which I'm sure you are since you have a great man now).
ReplyDeleteI do enjoy every second of it, in fact I can't wait to see his kids later!
Awww thanks Asian Belle it means a lot coming from your. Are they visiting you guys again? It's good that you got accepted by them, I think it could put a lot of strain on any relationship if there are kids involved and they do not accept you as part of their fathers life. Enjoy the weekend, I know I'm going too. Iza
ReplyDeleteJust a thought, but what if a man cheats on his wife and now wants to be with the other woman and he then actually makes the decision for both of them does this still count as a mutual decision between spouses. And if (please I'm not referring to your situation) he left his wife for the other woman, will he not end up doing the same to the next woman. Since I'm sure most marriages start out with both parties in love and thinking that they met their soulmate and will never leave them. Just a question?
ReplyDeleteAnonymous - thanks for your comment/question.
ReplyDeleteThe former is not a mutual decision – clearly it was his decision. What I meant in my blog post is that divorce is a decision that is made by the husband or wife or both together. It isn’t a decision that the OW/OM makes for their AP.
As for the latter, no I don’t think a man will end up doing the same thing especially if he has gone through enough to know that he wouldn’t want to be in the same type of relationship/marriage as the previous one.
It just comes to a point in your life where you just don’t settle for less. It doesn’t matter how long you take to be sure, just don’t settle for less.
Personally, I go into a relationship with the mindset of wanting to love and be loved. I don’t focus on whether he’d leave me or I’d leave him for someone else. I don’t think about what he did or didn’t do in the past – we focus on our relationship and how to make it better than our previous ones 'smile'.
Iza, yeap - they are visiting this weekend - am so stoked! Yeah, I am very happy they have accepted me 'smile'. Thanks and I'm sure we all will have a wonderful weekend! Talk to you soon!
ReplyDeleteThis totally reminds me of that old saying, "a leopard never changes it's spots". I don't believe that at all. I think a man or woman can cheat on one person but be faithful to another. I feel it's simply a case of that person wasn't right for them. Of course I don't condone cheating at all. I feel you should be honest with yourself and leave the person rather than cheat on them.
ReplyDeleteI just believe that some people are meant to be and when you finally meet that person who is right for you, you will do everything in your power to make that person happy, and cheating would never cross your mind again.
As for the question, “how sure are you that he won’t LEAVE you for another woman, since he left his wife for you?”. Even if that had been the case, which it wasn't, how do you ever know that any relationship will work? How can you ever be 100% sure that one of you won't leave the other. Simple really, you can't.
Relationships are all about taking risks. It will either work or it won't. And you can NEVER know for sure that it will work. You just have to put your all into it and hope for the best. I'd rather jump in head first any day rather than wondering 'what if?' for the rest of my life.
Elaine 'elle' Wilson =] xx