Recently, I caught a British movie, Closing Numbers on telly. The movie is about a woman that found out about her husband’s infidelity with another man. It was a heartbreaking movie.
In Closing Numbers, the wife was shocked to find out about her husband being on the down low (which woman wouldn’t?!), not only with one but multiple men which eventually reveals that some of them are HIV positives. Whenever I watch a movie, I tend to put myself into character. It makes me feel as if I am in a whole new world which no one else can penetrate *ehem*. That said, I can’t imagine the shock, emotion and feeling she must have gone through (I’m pretty sure it happens in real life. Art imitates life, after all!).
I don’t know which is worst – to find out that your husband is/was having an affair with a woman or man.
I know there are women out there that wouldn’t give their husband a second chance if they found out he was having an affair. I also know there are some women that would forgive their husband and worked through the whole ordeal of his infidelity.
Ladies, which one of these types are you?
I’m not sure how many male readers I have out there but you guys are welcome to give your opinion as well.
Btw, shout out to my new follower – Craig Victor – thanks for following my blog!
I don't even want to think about my man with another man!!!!
ReplyDeleteWow sounds like a really sad movie (I'm making a mental note to see if I can find it in our dvd store). I think all of us, married or single somehow felt the pain of betrayal one time or another. Even if you just have a boyfriend the pain is no less when you break up because of affairs. Because I come from a marriage that was ended because of an affair, I guess I can give my opinion on this. My ex and me got married when we were still young (both 25) and moved into our own place and everything was just magic. Then only a year after we got married, he started acting strange, forever closing the bathroom door (which he never use to do), taking out the trash twice daily....smile, which he also did only when asked and small stupid little things. I stepped into the bathroom one evening, thinking that he was taking a bath, but he sat on floor, talking on his cellphone. I can still see the shock on his face when I walked in there. What I did then, was out of pure reflex, I took the phone from his hand and asked who was on the other side. It turned out that it was a woman that he was having an affair with for nearly 4 months already. After lots of hard words, tears and threats he begged me not too leave him and that it would never happen again, that was a bad time in my life, I so wanted to believe him, but everything he did was suspicious but eventually I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and start over. Lo and behold, not even six months later he was up to his old trix again when I found out from a friend who saw him and this girl in a restaurant (while he was suppose to be out of town for work) holding hands and having eyes only for one another, he got back the next day!? and when I confronted him, he came clean and his excuse was that he loved me with all his heart but its just the rush of having an affair that makes him do it. I decided that he was not worth it and filed for a divorce, the pain I felt was bad, I felt that I was a failure as a wife and woman, that there was something wrong with me. It took years to date again, but I was scared to get married again. If only men knew what they did to a woman by having an affair. If I might give all guys out there a tip, be a man, tell your wife that you are not satisfied with whatever it is and that you want to do your own thing/seperate/get divorced because it is the lowest and most hurtful thing that you can do to your partner in marriage by being unfaithful, nothing can ever make up for the hurt and shame you feel. (I realise that there are men going through the same thing this is just from my life story) After therapy and lots of family support and love I moved on and I'm now happily married with a little boy again but it took me a long time to except myself for who I am and to make peace with who I am. What I've learned from my unfaithful husband is that I will never give any man a second change again because I believe that if a man had an affair once, he will do it again and I've yet to be proven wrong on that one. Iza
ReplyDeleteHi Anonymous - yeah, better not think about it at all :)
ReplyDeleteHi Iza - thanks for your comment. I'm so sorry to hear about your past - I've been cheated on twice by 2 different men and I was young too so they really broke me emotionally.
So you married the new guy you were talking about on my LDR post? How long have you been married to him?
Hi Asian Belle,
ReplyDeleteWe've only been married for a very short while, (still working hard on all my insecurities with his help and love) he is just the best, my little boy is like his own (his "real" dad never visit him or forgot he has a son) but in a way I'm glad since this mean that I do not have to see him. He also does not pay any maintenance but my new hubby takes care of him like he is his own so I've been blessed. Hope you find the same happiness with your new guy that I did with mine. Iza
That's great, Iza! Best is to focus on your current marriage and forget the past 'smile'. I'm sure you agree on that. I'm happy for you that your husband is great with your son.
ReplyDeleteThanks - I am very happy with him. It is so different to my past relationships.
Asian Belle, the only reason I talked about my previous marriage is because of your blog, I don't think that I would have committed to a new relationship, not to mention marriage if I was still pondering the past. I admit I still wonder what might have been, but one thing that I think we all agree on is that every dark cloud has a silver lining and thank goodness I found my silver lining. Thanks again for your blog, I was worried yesterday when you did not leave any new blogs glad you are ok, looking forward to read more. Iza
ReplyDeleteVery true - there's always a silver lining in every dark cloud - precisely what my late mother used to remind me and my brothers.
ReplyDeleteBlogging can be so addictive! Even if I can't go online, I usually write my thoughts on Word and then publish them on my blog the next day or so.. so don't worry, I won't be away too long (if I had to). Thanks for your support, Iza!